My Wife Has Alzheimers
I really miss having somebody to help me make decisions. I find it very frustrating that his family do not understand or appreciate what I have to deal with on a daily basis. Some days I find it very difficult to cope and just cry. On the outside I am a happy person holding things together, but on the inside I am a complete mess especially when I think about the future. Hi Lynda I know exactly how you feel.
My husband of 38 years was diagnosed 4 years ago. He has Frontotemporal dementia. I put on a happy face but I am really struggling. I feel so lonely and feel I have lost the person I used to be. It is a horrible disease.
The usual useless stock answers to carers problems. Until Dementia in all its forms is recognised as a disease nothing will change. Not up to scratch leaving dirty pads with no bag no apron or gloves on walking to toilet with this poor dip pad in corridor also they have a small lift so what happens if medical staff need to get bed in. Give her what everyone else eats.
As the social worker forgot to tell the home. We asked for the small room that was cheaper. Mum started to move away from other people. At my tiether. Sounds familiar. My husband is now letting me drive. He would drive and I would have to tell every move to make. In a month of driving he still tried to put a key in. If I leave him alone he will get in his truck and go someplace. So I never leave him alone. My husband was diagnosed years ago. So hard to see my husband of 53 years become a empty shell of the man he once was. He is now losing his words. Very hard to know what he is trying to say.
As he needs help with most things. He can still walk and goes to bathroom him self.. To help me he goes to a adult day program for people with memory loss. This has helped me so much. This has relieved my stress level and now have time to take care of me. This way I,m hoping I can keep him home with me.
Also I have my children and adult grandkids to help me.. Hi all, I am Shirley, I live in Australia. I have been running our household alone for many years now. My respite has been plenty of gardening. However that is too hard now due to arthritis so I have sold our home Thats my plan anyway. Hope it works out. Cheers for now. I care for my mum who has joint dementia and my dad who is frail, blind and hard of hearing and he is also looking after mum!
They have carers come in, I do their shopping, hospital appointments, paperwork, finances and emotional support. I also work full time, it can be a challenge and stressful juggling everything which is why I am pleased to know there is support for me. My local carers centre have been really helpful, understanding and supportive.
They are a good source of information and there are opportunities to meet with other carers, if you feel inclined, time allows and you have the energy! I now have my carers card which gives me peace of mind and cheaper parking at the hospital. Its not easy, Problem is 'you don't know what you don't know, which is why I have posted today. My father is currently in hospital with a uti.
Spouses of those with dementia face radically altered marriages - The Globe and Mail
A good period before this point there was a dramatic decline in his cognitive abilities. She is at his constant beck and call. He is paranoid that she is talking about him even though she gets creamed at if she answers the phone. His hearing deficit means he cannot use the telephone anymore. He has absolutely no insight into his condition and would never accept that he needs to go into respite or a carehome.
She is shattered and has lost a lot of weight. I have power of attorney health and welfare and jointly with mum for finances. What do I do? First of all, I'd encourage you to contact our helpline, as they can offer you more detailed information, advice or emotional support. We do also have some information on our website that may be useful for you.
Treating an Alzheimer’s patient? 6 tips from a patient’s spouse
Lastly, it's important that you and your mum also get the support you need and look after yourselves. I hope this is all helpful information, and please do contact our helpline if you need more support. Currently in a dilemma about whether to move my 63 year old husband into a Care home. Anyone who can advise me? Currently has next to no long or short term memory, cannot process tasks even personal care, cannot have a conversation. Physically very fit. Walks a lot. I pay for some day care while I work part-time.
Is is too early for residential care? What might his life expectancy be? How do I answer these questions? Self-funding so no SS involved. GP clueless. Since I have cared for my mum who is now 89, blind, partially deaf, has increasingly poor mobility and short term memory loss which is getting worse. We have NO support. No family, no carers-nothing.
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I am sure my mum has dementia but I am unable to take her to a GP for diagnosis as she is not well enough to get there. Anyway I am exhausted every day and too tired with cooking, cleaning, guiding mum to the toilet 15 times a day and twice at night. Usually 4 hours sleep is good if I can get it. I can no longer leave mum while I go out for more than 10 minutes a she forgets where she is and is at risk of falling.
I had a carers assessment-offered 2 hours a week break. I get some insincere sympathy from so many but no help. Our lives are over now. That's it. I am literally counting the days until mum eventually dies. I have been tempted to just drive off and live on the streets to get away or deliberately crash and get myself some peace in hospital for a few weeks.
As for carers taking care of themselves well how can I? I can't be ill, see a doctor, dentist or optician. I am 58 and my life is over. I am past caring about most things.